


Retirement

by eluna



Series: Fandom Fusions & Crossovers [1]
Category: Supernatural, The Sims (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - The Sims (Video Games) Setting, Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Domestic Winchesters, Fae Sam Winchester, Firefighter Dean Winchester, Gen, Hunter Retirement, POV Dean Winchester, Prankster Sam Winchester, Private Investigator Sam Winchester, The Sims 3, Very Slight Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Video Game Mechanics, Winged Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10069085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eluna/pseuds/eluna
Summary: When Sam convinced him to settle down and move to Moonlight Falls, this isn’t what Dean had in mind for how he’d be spending his retirement.“Fresh start, my ass. You blew all of our savings on fairy potion?!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of When We Were Young is completely written and currently undergoing revisions before I publish it! In the meantime, here's some more crack. Nothing profound happens, but the idea amused me, and I hope this will amuse you, too.
> 
> There's half a line near the top that makes a joke about Wincest/incest being incompatible with The Sims's game mechanics, but otherwise this is entirely gen.

When Sam convinced him to settle down and move to Moonlight Falls, this isn’t what Dean had in mind for how he’d be spending his retirement.

“Fresh start, my ass. You blew all of our savings on _fairy potion_?!”

Sam shrugs and smiles way more devilishly than Dean is comfortable with, the little bitch. He has _wings_ now, great neon monstrosities that freakin’ sparkle wispily from his back and (although Dean tries not to dwell on this too hard) that kind of bring out the green in his eyes. Of course, Sammy’s eyes stopped changing colors much as soon as they first stepped foot in this godforsaken town. A lot of things are different here, like how everything looks somehow vaguely cartoonish and how Dean can’t seem to exactly figure out how to work his limbs in order to initiate any sex with his brother—not that he’s feeling especially keen right now on showing him much of any kind of affection.

“But fairy magic means I can play pranks on people,” says Sam matter-of-factly. “I already rigged all the toilets to blow at one of my clients’ houses today. And I actually bought it cheaper than retail price at Aleister’s.”

Dean’s jaw drops in horror. “You contacted _Alistair_ —”

“Not Alistair! Aleister’s Elixirs and Spirits. I’m not exactly sure who Aleister is because the shop doesn’t appear to have an owner, but there’s a homeless woman who works the register, and she’s very nice. She was really cool about letting me hex _her_ toilet at the store.”

“People are going to stop hiring you when they figure out their private investigator is defacing their homes.”

“You know, I don’t think they’ll stop. Calls started coming in as soon as I registered as self-employed, from people I’d never even heard of before. It’s like magic or something!”

“Or something,” Dean grumbles. If they were still hunting, Moonlight Falls probably would have jumped to the top of their radar as a potential case—witchcraft, or maybe hoodoo—and he’s fairly certain that half the town is overrun by weird offshoot species of vampires and werewolves. Instead, Sammy’s freelancing as a P.I. (which apparently means stealing people’s trash and jinxing their plumbing) and has apparently merrily joined in with whatever bullshit supernatural phenomena have taken hold of this town, and Dean, instead of looking into his creep-ass neighbors, ends up spending all his time upgrading the engines on the trucks at the fire station and responding to “emergencies” that mostly involve clearing people’s properties of gnomes. “Sam, fairies _abducted_ me. They kill and kidnap and probe with their tiny little… probes… and you’re just gonna wash your hands of all that so you can—screw with some indoor plumbing?”

“I can also put curses on mailboxes,” Sam confirms, “and make plants bloom faster, and these wings make me feel pretty.”

Dean gawks at him. Six weeks ago, Sammy wouldn’t have been caught dead boasting about growing a pair of dubious pretty-princess wings. But then—has it really only been six weeks since they moved to Moonlight Falls? He could swear that one of his coworkers at the fire station was a literal child when Dean first came to town.

“You’re so neurotic,” Sam scolds him now, still grinning moronically. “You should take a bubble bath. It’ll make you feel much more tranquil.”

And if Dean actually tries to take his advice, well, no one has to know—or, at least, that’s what he tells himself until the bathtub starts to not-so-inexplicably overflow and Sam barges into the bathroom after him, hooting with laughter, the freakin’ fairy _bitch_.


End file.
